If you live in Sweden, this is your lucky day!
favorite fast food leviathan is spreading its tentacles out of the garbage grub industry and into new territory. Alas, Swedes are the only ones who can get the goods right now.
Earlier this week, McDonald’s launched an online boutique featuring bed sheets, wallpaper, raincoats, rubber rain boots, a jacket for dogs, and (my personal favorite) thermal underwear emblazoned with Big Macs.
Because I don’t speak Swedish, I conjured up the ever-useful Google Translate to decode the item descriptors on the site.
Translated into English, the description for the thermal underwear pictured above is the following:
Now, the future is here! Finally you can stretch, run and sweat along with the hamburger hamburgers. Please enjoy, order your limited edition underwear now.
Now, I can’t speak for everyone, but I have ALWAYS wanted to run – and sweat with, in particular – the hamburger hamburgers.
Soon you can even enjoy the Big Mac in the pouring rain. Lovely times lie ahead!
“If you like Big Mac burrrrrgers…and gettin’ caught in the rain…” (Yep, that’s gonna be in your head all night. You’re welcome.)
Soon, the hamburger hamburger keep your feet warm and cozy even during the wettest of days.
Why should only do you get to enjoy the Big Mac? Soon it can also enclose your dog, that way you can walk around with Big Mac every morning, noon and night.
Oh, gosh. ENCLOSE my dog?
This is what Cujo thinks about being “enclosed” by The Big Mac.
Now you can finally enjoy a wall! Order your new fun wallpaper today and cover your wall with Big Mac already tomorrow.
So THAT is what I’ve been doing wrong…all this time I just needed the hamburger hamburgers wallpaper for true “wall enjoyment.” Who’d have thunk it?
Finally take the hamburger hamburger step into your bedroom. Order your new bedding today and slept with Big Mac in the morning.
I, uh….the “hamburger hamburger step,” into my bedroom?
PS: Okay, the fact that there IS an English option on the site was brought to my attention, but using the translator was far more fun. Forgive me.
The New York Daily News reports that the profits from the McFashion pieces benefit Ronald McDonald House Charities (RMCH), the branded, franchised charity with the noble cause of providing housing to families traveling to get treatment for sick children.
I’m not sure if this is a good thing or not, because a scathing report that was released in October 2013 by Eat Drink Politics, Corporate Accountability International and Small Planet Fund raised serious concerns about the charity:
Several themes emerged over the course of our research into McDonald’s philanthropic activities that raise serious questions about the substance of the corporation’s charitable giving.
Promoting the McDonald’s brand unremittingly through Ronald McDonald House Charities, despite contributing only a fraction of the charity’s revenue.
Taking undue credit for the generosity of its customers. For example, McDonald’s often claims the “donation box” contributions to Ronald McDonald Houses as its own.
Selling unhealthy children’s menu items by linking their sale to very modest charitable giving.
Profiting from marketing to children in schools under the guise of charity and education.
In addition, the average American household donates 4.7% — 14 times more to charity, in terms of percentage of income, than what McDonald’s gives.
McDonald’s philanthropic giving is 33 percent lower than leading corporations. And, the company spent almost 25 times as much on advertising as it did on charitable donations in 2011.
You can read the entire 32-page report here: Clowning Around with Charity.
As of now, the hamburger hamburgers McFashion Fiasco line does not include items that appear to be targeting children. However, the current products could appeal to kids, especially the Dog
Enclosure Coat or perhaps the sheets or wall enjoyment paper. And who knows what the fast food behemoth has planned next? Hamburger hamburgers nursery bedding, baby booties, and bibs? Gotta start ’em young!
Vi är inte lovin ‘it.
Translation: We aren’t lovin’ it.
For more on how scary McDonald’s is lately…